On a Chilly January Day We Converged 1/25/07

ROTARY BULLETIN

January 25, 2007

 

            On a chilly January day we converged on the Roger Sherman to find we had to weave past a roomful of clerical types, on relief from filling out forms W-2 and 1099’s, by reciting the password and opting for either the lamb chops or salmon.  Happily, upon entering the Garden room, we found we had a quorum, with two guy and one dolly table graced by the presence of Phil McClain and Fred Baker.  Such as it was, no old guard, no new guard, and no en gaard.  Nancy held out until the twentieth arrival and in the absence of a guest or a visiting Rotarian got things under way at 12:18.  After delivering a spontaneous Irish Blessing, George Baker was so stunned by his own eloquence that he needed help to his chair.  As we began to chit chat Christian entered the room with a message for Nancy.  Maria Bartiromo had just sent word she was unable to attend our luncheon as she had just been bumped from the Citi plane in Jakarta.  Undaunted, Nancy called on Amy to say something.  She had nothing to say, but pretending it was December, she distributed ballots for the proposed slate of new officers for our new year commencing in June of 2007.  Every member got at least an honorable mention and though we did not actually vote, the motion carried.  The shoe lady, Mother Nancy, allowed as how she might well miss a meeting in February, when the next in a long line of grandchildren is due.  Heavens, has this lady not heard of Planned Parenthood?

 

            Sandi Malloy then gave us her version of three card Monte, in this case, four cards.  Jacks through Aces were dealt to determine where we would dine on the occasion of the spring fellowship dinners. This will bear a little amplifying, but it appears da King, Walbert, has already been assigned his full complement of diners.  Engel, Pogacnik and Franco await the luck of the draw with bated breath.

 

            Frankie the claw was pressed into service as Sgt@Arms. Still radiating from the effects of the noonday Mombassa sun, he reported that 90-year-old Phyllis Diller kept him glued to the tube long after his bedtime the night before.  Bill Walbert reminded us that the Gridiron Dinner “Roasting Rucci” is Friday April 13.  He offered cut-rate memberships in the Gridiron for only $49 and a guaranteed seat in front of the hot coals.  If you would like to be a member –Groucho never was – see Bill. Rumor has it there are still Gridiron ties at $25 each.  Fred Baker survived another Boy Scout outing, this time in Sherman, CT, and Susan Eng, nominated to be Secretary #1 again, tossed a happy dollar for becoming a Great Aunt.  Andy Kerchoff thrust a twenty at Frank for changing his commute from Ridgefield to SoNo.

 

            As the room slipped into a composite of idle chatter and empty coffee cups, Head Elf stole to the bell and intoned meeting adjourned, forcing all to the bracing chill of a late January deep freeze.

 

            Thus a meeting that did not have to happen.  This chronicle will be submitted to the whims of the Ethernet. Good-bye and Good Luck.

 

                                                                        Jack Frost

Amy Wilkinson stepped into the void... - 1/11/07

New Canaan Rotary Club Bulletin January 11, 2007

As 12:15 approached and no Nancy was in evidence an obviously worried Hunter S. was heard to mutter, “E.T., phone home.” No one’s cell phone rang until much later in the meeting, and then it was only Marty Skrelunas taking a call from Philip Johnson.

Fortunately next year’s Nancy [Pelosi], the formidable international banker and all around financial whiz Amy Wilkinson stepped into the void and called the meeting to order. In a first time occurrence the Pledge was done as a round, with the group in the food room coming in following “flag.” Then visiting pastor George Baker offered a blessing which contained the words “short” and “small” at least three times each, and that provoked more anxiety regarding Nancy’s absence as it was impossible not to think of her during George’s remarks. This led to a truly miraculous event as the apparently absent Ad Tomaselli suddenly materialized at the head of the food line. Although we all know it is his well-deserved and rightful place, Ad’s mysterious appearance added to the unsettled mood of the meeting.

Another almost unbelievable event occurred as, with no explanation or fanfare, several shiny new badges appeared in the shadow of the badge box. In one case, Fred Baker who was a new member about this time last year and had decorated his uniform in obvious despair at ever receiving his badge, had difficulty finding an appropriate spot from which to hang it.

As there were as many guests as presidents in the room, Amy moved to the announce ment segment of the meeting and Bill Walbert rose to confuse us. He sat back down, but then rose again and further confused us. Gentle Ben Bilus then stood all the way up, which seemed to alarm the unruly crowd and it was some time before order was restored. By that time Mike Hobbs had apparently dozed off and was humiliated to discover that Ben had just answered the question Mike asked. Except for Joe Rucci, everyone just let it go and shrugged it off as the pathetic mutterings of an old fool. David Bryant looked visibly relieved when Ben returned to his seat without making any menacing moves toward David. Apparently the Christmas unpleasantness has not yet dissipated.

Last resort Sgt. Frank Bernardo rose to terrorize and extort the troops. It is good to have Frank come amongst us on occasion to remind us how really loud he is. Your scrivener”s ears are still ringing, and he has no idea why Frank took two dollars from him. Yet another mystery.

Amy then introduced the day’s program, ex Rotarian, George Megrue wannabe, son of the former Darien Building Inspector, physicist Michael J. De Leonardis who explained about Pluto, the weather and meteors threatening the earth. Pluto is apparently still at Disneyworld although not still a planet [no eliptical orbit and all]. Mike, responding to a question about whether or not he could predict the weather on earth by analyzing sun spot data, replied that he could, but not accurately. Most of the audience lost interest in the program and virtually everything else when Mike informed us that, as he spoke, there were 832 meteors one to six miles in diameter and capable of extinguishing all life on earth, hurtling toward us. The program seemed to make the previously mentioned occurrences moot. Amy thanked Mr. DeLeonardis and everyone left.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Nancy Robinson, vying with Nancy Pelosi to be the most powerful woman in the county... - 1/04/07

New Canaan Rotary Club Bulletin January 4, 2007

In a bold departure from recent bulletins your reporter will attempt to fill the following narrative with events that actually occurred. No Paris Hiltons for this scribe!

President Nancy, vying with Nancy Pelossi to be the most powerful woman in the country, led the Pledge and then turned to “the other Nancy” for a comprehensive blessing in Ad’s absence. The membership, and guests Paul Burnham and Jim Rini [who was later introduced to a smattering of polite applause], then passed through the chow line with a new sense of appreciation for the effort that is involved in planning, procuring, producing, distributing, clearing and cleaning up after a meal at the Roger Sherman. The food was delicious as always, and seemed moreso because others were responsible for all of the steps enumerated above. We were called upon only to consume.

Wielding her new found power, President Nancy then commanded the shy, retiring and woefully unprepared Tom Weilenmann to stand and deliver his report on the December 25 Christmas Dinner fund raiser. Tom identified each Rotary participant, his or her job, and, after presenting medals to the dish and pot washing staff for extraordinary service, thanked all participants and announced that $5,500 dollars was raised for domestic and international programs. Pot walloper Ben Bilus and Leo 111 commented on the enormous help and good nature of the Roger Sherman staff during the entire exercise. Powerful President Nancy then gave a heartfelt thank you to Proprietor Tom for his leadership and generosity in making this event happen each year. The Club responded with extended applause.

The only controversy regarding this wonderful event surrounded the operation of the bar. With Rucci the Elder and David Bryant staffing the operation Tom found it necessary to weigh all the bottles following the event. There is still talk of the mutinous Rucci refusing an order of bannana daiqueries. And then there is the continuing ill will between David Bryant and Ben Bilus, stemming from the dapper David’s visit to the sweat drenched Ben to complain about the difficulties and mental strain involved in David’s bar tending stint. One can only hope that time will heal this rift and that peace will prevail in 2007.

The fair Phil McClain explained that a year ago an anonymous Rotarian had paid for a dictionary for every third grade student in the New Canaan public school system. He is looking for another angel to come up with $600 to do it again. It’s not every day you get a chance to be an angel. Contact Phil.

Gentle Ben Bilus is still accepting checks made out to the Rotary Foundation dated 12/31/06. He needs one from every member of the Club. Get it up!

President Nancy “Al Haig” Robinson then rose to her full five feet, announced that she was in charge and, in the absence of Art Duell, introduced Laura Rubinfeld, new Executive Director of the New Canaan Board of Realtors as our speaker. She is a 26 year resident of New Canaan who replaced Estelle Seeley, who had held the job for 40 years, at the beginning of the year. Laura explained that the National Association of Realtors is the largest trade association, and one of the largest PACs, in the country. They promote professionalism and the orderly transfer of property. She stressed the philanthropy the Board has provided in the aftermath of 9/11/01, the tsunami and Katrina. Stating that there is no bubble in New Canaan, she sited a number of highly questionable statistics regarding number of sales, average price, days on the market and list-to-sales percentages. Skip cleared everything up. Another enlightening program, and a good start to 2007. Happy New Year!

Dick Clark

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ROTARY YEAREND BULLETIN

The "Holiday" Fundraiser was held on December 25th at the Roger Sherman Inn. Many of us were wondering which -- of many -- holidays was being celebrated on December 25th. On the way to the Roger Sherman, many of us passed God's Acre. There was a Christmas tree and a Menorah. But we saw no Kwanzaa decoration. And we wondered. Research determined that a Kwanza is a unit of Angolan currency. We suspect one can find a sample at the foreign-exchange department of the new Webster Bank or Citibank. The question of which holiday became crystal clear when we heard many of the nice folks, paying $58 per plate, saying "Merry Christmas" to each other. We think if was the Christmas holiday. 'Nuff said.

A lot of Rotators, spouses, significant-others and slaves (Rotarians' teenagers) showed up to help cook, serve, bus, bartend, clean up and handle the myriad of other tasks that most of us have no idea how to properly perform. But we managed. Somehow. The teenagers were a great help. Thanks for showing up, guys and gals. And adults, too.

There were some highlights on Christmas Day.

Dr. and Mrs. Painless had scullery duty (that's dishwashing). Remember that the Doc is just five weeks out of some nontrivial surgery. We heard no crashes -- from a dropped rack of dishes -- as we did when Skip had the duty a few years ago. Painless cleaned up, big-time. So did Faith, Hope and Charity.

The Roger Sherman Inn pianist was there. He played brilliantly. During his break, Scott (the Hobbs raised- by-wolves) seized the in-house microphone. We had anticipated he would recite "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" for our guests. Instead, he educated them about African culture in the form of the "boogety" histoire. Some of the kids didn't understand it. But some did. Ooops!

Bartender Rucci Sr. received an order for two frozen banana daiquiris. He refused. No way was he ever going to try to deal with it. We were going to put in an order for a Singapore sling, but didn't. It has a great number of ingredients. Too many for an attorney.

Amy gave some of the Rotary staff a lecture about arranging strawberries on a plate. It was informative. If you ever need to know how to organize fruit, call Amy, at the bank, 203/863-2674.

Ben Bilus, Andy LaSala (and many others) worked in the kitchen. Andy wore a starched, white chef's coat -- from his own wardrobe. He looked very snappy. We didn't realize that Andy has multiple careers.

The Roger Sherman staff WERE GREAT! Without them, we wouldn't have been able to carry this off for the past five years. Mucho thanks to Der Fuhrer for his continuing generosity and great Rotary spirit.

Speaking of spirit, the RSI bar stayed open, for a little while, after the event. Some of us needed to relax a bit. It's nice to have a drink -- on Tom's tab.

BOXING DAY:

We were advised that, on Boxing Day, President Gerald Ford had died. The cable news channels went berserk, with coverage about this. Everybody chimed-in. And, no matter what their politics were, they all agreed that he was a pretty good guy. But some of the mainstream media tried to urinate on that thought on Thursday.

This amanuensis remembers when President Ford was falling off of the steps on Air Force 1, crashing on a ski slope and whacking a spectator with a golf ball. "Saturday Night Live" made leads out of these stories. And the media said that President Ford was so uncoordinated that he couldn't walk and chew gum at the same time. Shortly thereafter, Betty Ford announced she had invented a new method of birth control. Every night, at bed time, she gave Gerry a stick of gum. This is true. And it worked for Betty.

DECEMBER 28 IRREGULAR MEETING:

Yes, we were told that the Roger Sherman Inn was to be closed on December 28. But that didn't matter. Jim Azzarito's favorite-porch-in-the-world was open. And cold. Some of the faithful showed up. No fancy luncheon for us that day. Pizza was ordered from Pinocchio's. Franco's delivered a quarter keg of Bud. The flag was on the flagpole. We pledged. Ad wasn't there, so we heard no good words. But we had pizza and beer. And friends.

And, this week, we had another tragedy. James Brown, the "Godfather of Soul," passed away. In his honor, we played Rob Bartlett's James Brown-sounding recording of "Big-Butted Woman." It brought a tear to most eyes. Mr. Brown will be missed.

But we had a speaker.

No-show Nance wasn't there, but Ken Campbell had reached out to his contacts on the Left Coast and introduced Paris Hilton. Snazzy. Paris spoke for all of four or five minutes -- about kissing women. During this time, she had said the word "like" 47 times. Electronic Andy K. asked why she said "like" so much. She responded with a flying karate kick to Andy's jaw. He later reported that Paris didn't appear to be wearing anything under her short-short-short skirt. But who was looking? Andy lost two teeth and is looking for a dentist to help fix his face.

On the way out, Paris asked Didier (if you are a friend of the EP, you can call him "Chris") for directions to the Roger Sherman's pool and spa. Didier offered her directions to New Canaan Cleaners for removal of the pizza, beer and drool stains on her clothes.

Happy New Year, Folks!

Respectfully submitted,

Sen. John Edwards

PS: Art Duel has proposed Laura Rubinfeld for membership. Laura is the executive director of the New Canaan Board of Realtors. Both missed the "Holiday" fundraiser and Paris Hilton. But Paris wasn't that good.

ROTARY CHRISTMAS GRAB BAG -- 12/21/06

The bell was rung -- on time -- and the pledge was led. Our EP had absolutely nothing to do with any of it. She was too busy "Elfing." Ad did the prayer. In EP's opening remarks it was noted that the Rotary Club staffing schedule was a bit light on members who signed up to help with the December 25 "Holiday" fundraiser at the Roger Sherman. If you can spend the 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM hours, or part of that time, at the Roger Sherman it will be a big help. Show up! And bring slaves (teenage kids). We're still questioning which holiday triggered the "holiday" fundraiser. Was it the birth of PC? No, not Perry Como.

Buffet lunch was hoovered. It included dead cow, dead fish, potatoes, rice, mixed vegetables, silage and wedding cake. Quite good. All plates were empty.

A gratuity, for the Roger Sherman staff, was handed to Giovanni. He promptly left the premises to visit his bookie. "Lucky Boy" in the fourth, at Hialeah, 16 to 1. Count on it.

NEW NEWS:

Art Duel has proposed Laura Rubinfeld for membership. Laura is the executive director of the New Canaan Board of Realtors. Didn't see either of them today.

There will be no meeting on December 28 because the Roger Sherman is closed in honor of Switzerland's Christmas. You can't even show up to buy lunch. So, those of you considering celebrating Christmas next Monday, at home, should, perhaps, wait until Thursday. Do it the Swiss way. (Try explaining that one to your young kids.)

Since today's was the last RCNC meeting of the year, this amanuensis (look in up, damnit) will be out-of-the picture until April. Many are grateful for this. Since Ted Bonner won't be needing his windsurfer for a while, I think I'll head for Key West.

GRAB BAG:

Members mostly took the EP's words to heart. Many of the wrapped presents were truly rude and tasteless. Some more than others. But, the wrappings were nice.

Remember the remote-control fart machine from last year? It came back. The speaker was stashed in the pile of presents. We heard from it throughout the meeting. Loudly.

Hobbs Jr. started out with a fabric potted flower which played music while the flower danced. He left it on the table. Nancy the pres, for the second year in a row, got condoms which she traded for the flower. (How does she get condoms two years running? Is someone trying to tell her something?) The condoms from last year found their way into her son's Christmas stocking. We're not sure if they worked. Report to come. Andy K. opened up a Playboy videotape on "sensual massages." He kept it. Hmmmm... Better than a tooth extraction. Ad opened a nice teddy bear. Bill Walbert is the proud new owner of an electronic machine one can use to terrify the neighbor's dog. The singing big-mouth bass reappeared. It will spend the next twelve months with Ed Denkin. Mike Franco was temporarily the owner of a poker kit -- cards, chips, etc. in a brief case. Joe Rucci opened a water-filtering canteen which he traded for the poker kit. Special-Ed Nordgaaaaard was, for a moment, the owner of a Connecticut Gay Mens Chorus teeshirt and hat. He stuck it to Rucci for the poker kit. Rucci will soon be singing. Falsetto. Bob Cruickshank opened up a box of truffles. Amy grabbed a bottle of wine. Dr. Frank Barberino now has an ugly, truly ugly, salt and pepper shaker set. Nice. Mike Bruneau opened up a Whitney Shop box containing a Santa Claus thong. Didn't know Whitney was into that. He pawned it off on Amy for the wine. Amy promised to wear the garment at each and every RCNC meeting in fiscal 2008. We'll check. Phil McClain opened up a mug that might remind him of when he was breast-fed. It was traded for the poker set. Rucci Jr. got a battleship game which he kept. Ted Bonner -- in a cast from a windsurfing-generated broken ankle -- drew a box of candy. Then things got interesting. Hobbs Sr. got "Humphrey the Humping Dog." Pull its ear, and it humps. And makes doggie noises. Really. Oh, boy! Nancy Belon drew a bottle of wine which she swapped for Humping Humphrey. Scott Clueless became the proud owner of a survival calendar. Or something. Spider (our Francophile, who promises he had nothing to do with the death of Claudine Longet) Sovich opened up the ugliest corkscrew that anyone has ever seen. It looked like something you would see if your neighbor never used the pooper scooper. That was traded for Ad's bear. Boris got a box of Beano which he palmed off for something. Skip got some wine stoppers which he traded for Bruneau's wine. Ken Campbell got a Christmas mug and traded it for the poker set. Calvin drew a pair of Santa's undies and opted for Humphrey. Cal is a dog lover. Hobbs Jr. opened a farting pen. (How come Hobbs Sr. and Jr. got all of the nifty gufts?) Not quite as extravagant as the fart machine, but it farts. It was traded to EP (where it remained), for the dancing flower. Andy LaSala drew a casino poker game. Ben Bilus got a bag of coffee from Ethiopia which ended up with Spider. John Engel opened every man's dream -- an inflatable wife -- which he traded for Hobbs Sr.'s wine. Wife for wine? Good deal. Marty opened a couple of CDs of Redneck Christmas carols. These he will play when guests tour the glass house. Dave Bryant ended up with a draft dodger. It keeps the wind out of your house, but not the fart machine. I think he traded it for wine. Steve Risbridger opened up an electric ice scraper which he traded for the poker set. Painless Kerchoff became the owner of a book "Official Guide to Christmas in the South -- If You Can't Fry It..." That ended up with Spider.

Every year, some members bring an extra gift. There are two reasons for this: 1) If a visiting Rotarian is there doing a make-up, we want that person feel like they're part of the meeting. 2) Some members have accumulated, every year, embarassing junk which they want to get rid of. We're voting for number two. We had about 15 extras this year. And it raised the total money for the Salvation Army to a record amount.

Then bidding on extra gifts began. Things got confusing so I won't promise accuracy. Spider got a book which he traded for the bear. Ben got another book which he traded for the bear. Steve got an electric dildo which he traded for the bear. Nancy B. bid on a bottle of wine which she traded for Humping Humphrey. She said she would give it to Der Fuhrer. Phil McClain bid on some wine. John Engel bid on a three-pack of US Military Pilot Relief Bags which he traded for Bryant's wine. Spider bid a lot of bucks for a Mark Foley red fedora, a skimpy g-string and a "Big Beef" sausage. The sausage was special. It all ended up with Painless. Red is John's color. Leo paid big bucks for a collectible Pez dispenser which he traded for Humping Humphrey. There was a lot of humping going on. Nancy B. spent big bucks for a gift card for a bikini wax. Say hello to Brazil. We can't wait! Hobbs Jr. bid on undisclosed Groucho glasses which were traded for the bear. Spider paid a bundle for a framed cartoon (cheap frame) which he traded to Scott for the bear. Phil McClain bid $100 for something which he traded for something else. I think. Thank God it was over!

The good news: EP Nancy didn't leave the premises with condoms. Instead, she had the coveted farting pen. A Christmas classic.

The GREAT news: All of this foolishness netted over $750 for the Salvation Army. Nice job, Rotators. And everybody had a good time. Bring more extra gifts next year. It's good for the laugh factor. And, in Parvenu Condo, we need more funnies. Because the traffic is becoming awful.

Respectfully submitted,

Weihnachtsmann

Is it a Kiwanis Invasion? 12/14/06

ROTARY CLUB OF NEW CANAAN

DECEMBER 14, 2006

Our experimental president (EP), in a raw and outrageous attempt to generate cash flow to augment the club’s revenue from late‑fines, rang the bell early, yes, early, to cause half of those members who arrived before 12:15 to miss the pledge and prayer. And get hit up for late‑fines. This amanuensis has no idea who led the pledge (probably EP) or who uttered the prayer. Did the prayer mention lawyers ... plumbers ... NASCAR drivers? I don’t know.

Buffet lunch was there. No questions about the lettuce. No reps from Taco Bell.

Throughout the luncheon, and the meeting, there was a lot of traffic through our room. In and out. Anybody know who those people were? Is it a Kiwanis invasion?

GUESTS:

Last week, we had a ton of guests. They learned their lesson and did not return this week. Dr. Claudia did not appear. It is rumored she is dining in Italy for a few weeks.

SGT. @ ARMS:

Steve collected a lot of bucks. Much of it from the faux late fines. Scott Hobbs celebrated recently selling and buying a house. He didn’t tell us if it was the same house. This may be a new episode on cable’s “Flip this House.” George Megrue tossed in big‑time on account of his having spent nearly six months traveling “everywhere.” We think he was goofing‑off. Good job, George.

PROGRAM:

Concerned about a potentially‑failed administration, in utter emotional distress, and in need of substantial spiritual support, EP was accompanied by her spiritual advisor, The Rev. Al Sharpton. No, idiot amanuensis (look it up), it was Rev. Ron Evans of the Congregational Church in Darien.

Most of us were somewhat prepared for hell, fire and brimstone. Instead, Rev. Evans (he doesn’t believe he needs a capital “T” in “The”) thoroughly entertained us with a dramatic reading of a piece by Bob Dylan Thomas, “A Child’s Christmas in Wales.” It was pointed out by Rev. Evans that Mr. Thomas died immediately after appearing in New Canaan.

It snows a lot in Wales at Christmastime and Welsh children entertained themselves by mocking firemen, throwing snowballs at cats and eating cigarettes. And we still don’t know if, on that particular Christmas, it snowed 12 inches each day and night for six days or six inches each day and night for twelve days. Can anyone help?

Rev. Evans was a hoot. We hope he visits us again.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

Help is still needed for what the “2006‑2007 Rotary Board Schedule” calls the December 25th “Holiday Fund Raiser at Roger Sherman Inn.” The sign‑up sheet was found, after a major search effort, and passed around the room. We need help in all areas from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM. If you can only make it for part of that time, that’s OK. Just show up, bring a spouse or significant‑other and teenage kids. Teenagers are one of the world’s best sources of physically‑sturdy, free labor. Free is good!

Der Fuhrer still thinks this is a Christmas fundraiser. Part of the reason is the calendar date and also something that happened a couple of millennia ago, and part is because he is advertising “Christmas Dinner” in the newspapers. Don't tell Tom, but the smart P‑C money is still dealing with Humphrey Bogart's birthday in 1899. Friends called him "Hump."

Next week, on Dec. 21st, is the Christmas grab bag. In the words of EP, wrapped gifts should be “rude and insulting.” ‘Nuff said. No last‑minute wine or booze fill‑ins (unless it’s a case of Chateau Lafitte Rothschild). Extra Christmas presents will be raffled off. For cash. Bring a big wallet. And be prepared to leave with it somewhat‑empty. There may be some good stuff.

NEW STUFF:

Art Duel has proposed Laura Rubinfeld for membership. Laura is the executive director of the New Canaan Board of Realtors. (Note to members: According to past‑president Dave Bryant, the designated amanuensis [read: “victim”] must include this in the bulletin for four weeks. Questions? Ask Dave.) Have we seen Laura lately? I don’t know. I don’t pay attention. I just write. Sometimes.

LAWYER JOKES:

The Gridiron has recognized that we don’t have enough lawyer jokes. Accordingly, their next victim will be Joe Rucci. You just can’t miss this. Nobody can. Walbert knows where and when and how much. And, for those too busy (or too cheap to pay the ducat price), it is usually aired on one of the public service channels on Cablevision. Channel 79?

Respectfully submitted,

Laura Ingraham

our EP was MIA -- PEARL HARBOR DAY 12/7/06

ROTARY CLUB OF NEW CANAAN

DECEMBER 7, 2006

Dave Bryant presided over the meeting, because our EP (Experimental President) was MIA. Same for the EP-Elect. In fact, there was no dolly table because none of the dollies showed up today. The thought was expressed that they all were helping the EP prepare favors for Saturday evening's Holiday Party. (More about that later.)

Dave rang the bell, led the Pledge and Ad rendered a prayer for our soldiers overseas.

Lunch was good, as usual.

GUESTS: Included Paul Burnham from Darien Club; Dr. Claudia; Andy LaSala did a short cameo; Mike Franco -- or someone impersonating him -- graced us for the second week in a row; Jim Kreitler; Dr. Jim Rini from the East Jesus, New Hampshire Club; Carlton Cleveland from the Westport Club.

SGT. @ ARMS Scott managed a true story having to do with the junior senator from New York and a woman-of-the-evening. Both are Chappaqua, N.Y. natives? At the end of the story, as Scott was starting to pass the money bowl, Leo Karl traipsed through the door. Being so late, and having recently celebrated a 20th wedding anniversary caused Leo to empty his wallet. Guess the "red-tag" sale is going well.

PROGRAM: As we've seen a couple of times in recent weeks, some of the best programs happen when there is no program. First, because a lot of our members have interesting things to say and thoughts to offer. Second, because nobody is trying to sell us something or looking for a handout.

Ad Tomaselli was asked to tell us about his experiences from Pearl Harbor Day through the end of WWII. Had I any idea how interesting this would be, I would have taped it so the absent dollies and others could share his experiences.

Ad was in a neighborhood basketball game when someone advised the players that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor. "Where is that?" everyone asked. Ad wanted to enlist in the Navy, but was too young. It was 1943 before they let him in. At basic training he was asked what his name was. He told them. "Now, you're Tommy. Can't send someone with your first name into this war" or some such words. "Tommy" stuck.

After basic, Ad was assigned as a radarman to the destroyer USS Chase. The Chase spent five trips over 16 months serving as an escort ship for troop and supply vessels crossing the Atlantic. The convoys ran at low speeds and were prime targets for U-boats. On one trip, the Chase and four other destroyers were chasing a U-boat. After 72 hours, they got him. Oil, debris and bodies floated to the surface. The Chase was credited with the U-boat kill.

After the fifth east/west excursion, the Chase went to Boston for refitting. Then to the Pacific -- places like Iwo Jima, Guam, Okinawa. On the radio, "Tokyo Rose" warned the US fleet that there was a surprise waiting for them. On May 20, 1945 kamikazes appeared as the surprise. Five of them went after the Chase. The first three were shot down. But the fourth and fifth hit the Chase. "Abandon Ship!" was ordered. Ad spent 29 minutes, exactly, in the water when he was pulled on to a rescue vessel by Chase DiPanni's Uncle Nick. Small world!

The Navy sent him back to San Diego, giving him a 30-day survivor's leave and gas ration coupons for 10 gallons. Ad returned to New Canaan, but his girlfriends were in Ridgefield. Ten gallons allowed for two or three roundtrips in his dad's '38 Packard. Somehow he negotiated with the local coupon magistrate, "made an offer...." and the 10 gallons turned into coupons for 100 gallons -- and Ad had a happy survivor's leave.

Back to Pearl. Assigned to the USS Lexington, and off to hit the Japanese mainland. Truman dropped Little Boy and Fatman and the war was over. But not for Ad. He was discharged, in Japan, and told to find his own way home. That took until April Fools Day 1946. One of his first official acts was to go to Izzy Cohen's gin mill on Elm Street and order a shot and a beer -- which he could not be served because he was only 20 years old. Fifty-two battles, a ship shot out from under him and he can't buy a drink in New Canaan. Hello? I think he earned that drink. Many times over.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

-December 9th is a "Holiday Party at Waveny Castle." Not knowing exactly which holiday was being honored by this event, this amanuensis (look it up) did some research to find out who, like Martin Luther king, Jr., may have had his/her birthday deemed a federal holiday. Candidates are: frozen food's Clarence Birdseye, Redd Foxx, John Milton, Tip O'Neill, Kirk Douglas, Donny Osmond, Tom Daschle or Otis Lee Birdsong. Alternatively, we could be celebrating the 214th anniversary of America's first formal cremation (1792). But it might be the 56th anniversary of the TV premiere of "Rootie Kazootie" on NBC. Also, it is Independence and Republic Day in the United Republic of Tanzania. Additionally, on this date in 1842, the first Christmas card was created in England and, in 1877, Italian women were given the right to witness documents.

-December 21 is the "Christmas Grab Bag." (We seem to know what this holiday is about.) This means that each member brings a Christmas present which ends up with some other and unsuspecting member. Gifts should be rude and insulting. Bringing a bottle of booze or wine as a gift subjects you to a $10 fine. Be creative. Joe Rucci will explain -- and enforce -- the rules.

-December 25, a Monday, is our "Holiday Fund Raiser at Roger Sherman Inn." I think we have done this event for four or five years. In these years, people paid the big bucks to come to the Sherman and eat Christmas dinner, served (as best we could) by Rotarians. It takes about four hours of each member's time and earns the Club a lot of money -- thanks, in huge part to der Fuhrer's generosity and the help of some of his staff. And it is a fun event for Rotarians. If you haven't done it before, try it this year. Eleven AM to three PM is what it takes. And sometimes there are left-overs after the work is done.

Now we need to determine which holiday is being celebrated that day. On December 25, 1659, the General Court of Massachusetts (figures it would be Mass.) passed a law making the observance of Christmas a penal offense. It took a while for that news to reach New Canaan. Birthdays? Sir Isaac Newton 1635; Humphrey Bogart, 1899; Cab Calloway, 1907; "The Steve Allen Show" premiere, 1950. And then there was that Jesus guy. Have the PCs forgotten him?

Respectfully submitted,

Nouri al Malarkey

Bill gave a vague guideline, "Favorite/best sports stories"

ROTARY CLUB OF NEW CANAAN

BULLETIN FOR NOVEMBER 30, 2006

President Nancy swung the gavel at 12:15 and we were underway on a balmy, November day. John Kerchoff delivered a satiny smooth prayer and a delicious buffet followed. Tables filled, tales from members filled the air, Thanksgiving stories and every doggone topic you could imagine or not imagine made for a noisy and friendly room.

Guests:

Dr. Claudia from Bolivia who seems to like Thursdays at the Roger Sherman, today she took photos to show her home Interact Club.

Club Announcements:

Art Duel has proposed Laura Rubinfeld for membership. Laura is the Executive Director of the New Canaan Board of Realtors.

Christmas Party; Saturday December 9^th at Waveny Castle, 6:30 PM on

Christmas Grab Bag luncheon, Thursday December 21, shop funny for this!

Program:

First, the graph that is in the locked vault of the Rotary Archives on Scott Hobbs’ jokemanship is definitely pointed upward. Today’s long but worth it build-up had the collected members thinking out loud about the punchline. Scott offered a good one and some authentic laughs proved the worth of the 28 minute effort. It’s all good!

As you can tell, today’s official, planned program was missing like a hurricane hit in the 2006 season. Clearly, there was time to fool around and who better as a light hearted enthusiast of good times than Bill Walbert to figure out how to fill the time vacuum. and some in the group stood up to tell tales. Frank McBrearity liked the tall tale swap so much he gave two! Scott Hobbs told of Howard Benedict, NCHS’s resident eccentric in a pup tent. John Engel gave us sailing lessons of the best sort, his memory and a great story of small boats and big ideas. John Burns and Mike Hobbs recalled the one-of-a-kind career of Chuck Banderick (SP?). Frank Bernardo fired up a recollection of his trip to Fenway Park to see an almost one hitter, with the famously nutty Carl Everett breaking up the Mike Mussina pitching effort. Phil McLain confessed that backyard, unpadded, youthful football moves do NOT work well on the real field against real big, tough linemen. John Kerchoff had fond memories of our own Frank B. aboard the Sloop John B, using physics and fear to keep the boat upright. Bo Bo Hickey came in for review and the Walbert plan for passing the time just made the clock wiz around. We even went five minutes over! As many of us say, some of our best programs come from the talents of our talkative club.

Respectfully submitted,

Moises Alou

What better than a Rotary meeting on a dreary Thursday . . . 11/16/06

ROTARY CLUB OF NEW CANAAN

BULLETIN FOR NOVEMBER 16, 2006

What better than a Rotary meeting on a dreary Thursday? President-Elect Amy was ready to get things off with a good wallop of the bell at 12:15. Our Nancy was away for the day. The prayer was handled with a special dose of relevance and timing by Ad who is, shall we say, connected to God. And what a good day when our collective prayers can be answered: Our great Rotarian, John Kerchoff was not only home after a significant medical experience…he was with us! Looking great, sounding strong and thankful, John’s presence gave even our skeptics and pessimists a nice dose of hope on this grey day.

Guests:

Dr. Claudia from Bolivia who seems to like Thursdays at the Roger Sherman

Club Announcements:

Ken made a request for programming on December 7 then his request changed into a program idea, our veterans will share some experiences that day, mark your calendar.

Tom is hitting 60 this week, looking not a day over 59. He made a generous contribution to the basket and was roundly toasted by all for the good things he has brought to our Club.

George Baker organized and many members contributed to our packages that will go to Iraq to support the real needs of the troops.

Program:

Ben Bilus our Foundation Chair presented a very thorough and compelling look at the Rotary Foundation. Ben was fortified by a couple of glasses of wine, confident and direct in his presentation. Our members can leverage their contributions to the Foundation through various District and International levels of matching, potentially turning each $100 of gift into $350 at the Club level. Pretty amazing and a strong encouragement to give. Through a video and handout that set-up his presentation, Ben let us know that the Foundation funds Ambassadorial Scholarships, Group Study Exchange, World Peace Scholars Program, Humanitarian Grants Program, Polio Plus, and special projects (but no construction). Praise for Ben was hard at every table (well, maybe most tables), because he had enlightened us and told of his wanting to join Rotary for fellowship, food, and most of all – joining something that can do some good. (Checks should be made out to The Rotary International Foundation.)

Respectfully submitted,

Joseph Girardi

ROTARY IRAQ PROJECT

Dear Rotarians:

This is a reminder that we will be collecting items TOMORROW AT THE ROGER SHERMAN to go into care packages for Joe Coppo Jr. and his Special Forces company now in Iraq. The SLOBS will be packaging and mailing out the items, so there is no need to bring any boxes yourself. The items requested are: phone cards, sun screen, insect repellent, protective lip gloss, baby wipes, talcum/foot powder, Handi-Wipes, moisturizing lotion, Purell, tooth paste, shaving cream, disposable razors, shampoo, snacks (chips, beef jerky, pretzels, individual instant coffee packets, cookies - Oreos are a big hit, Ramen Noodles, gum, TicTacs), Crystal Light packets, hand-held games, playing cards, disposable cameras, CD's, DVD's, and paint brushes (1/2"-1" brushes to remove dust from weapons). No chocolate items.

The SLOBS are planning to mail everything by November 20th, so tomorrow is our deadline to contribute to this wonderful effort.

George W. Baker

Update on John Kerchoff

Friends and Rotarians,

Thank you everyone for your support!

My father is doing very well! He successfully had a quadruple bypass operation and is quickly on the mend.

He is expected to be discharged from St. Vincent’s Hospital on Wednesday. Once out he’ll have 2+ weeks of physical therapy to endure, but he’s already up and walking laps at the hospital!

If anyone would like to go visit him, he’s up on the 8^th floor and visitors are welcome. Or, after Wednesday you can stop by the house.

Again, and I speak for my whole family, we thank you all for your support!!

Best Regards,

AK

Today's meeting had a special feel to it and a cloud . . . 11/2/06

ROTARY CLUB OF NEW CANAAN

BULLETIN FOR NOVEMBER 9, 2006

Today’s meeting had a special feel to it and a cloud. Our good friend and exemplary Rotarian, John Kerchoff was with family at St. Vincent’s Hospital in Bridgeport, scheduled for heart surgery on 11/10. Nancy asked Frank Bernardo to lead us in prayer and he did so with eloquence and hope…the right words and feeling for our collective good wishes to John and family. But where there is grey there is also sun behind thopse clouds: in this case, Ad and the lovely Helen are celebrating a short 55 years of marriage. Ad also shared that his odometer is at 81 years, a birthday this week.

Guests:

Not one, today.

Club Announcements:

Nancy announced that:

• 1143 people had their flu shots because our great volunteers Margo Sisson, Andy Kerchoff, Frank McBrearity, and Ed Nordgaard pitched in last week at the flu shot clinic.
• Katy Fox sent a nice note of thanks for our extending a School Service Award to her.
• We also heard from the Health and Human Services Dept. of New Canaan with appreciation for the clean-up at a senior’s home, pruning, raking, disposal of debris and -Nancy was quick to remind us – that SHE thought to bring mums to decorate the porch as a finishing touch.
• There will be an Oldies Program at Wilton HS on Saturday night, 11/11 at 7:30 PM. Free tickets available from Jim Azzarito or Nancy.
• Please call Nancy if you want to help out at the Lower Fairfield Food Bank collection. Only 2 signed up today.

Program:

John Engel introduced Doug Campbell, entrepreneur and through World Vision, a major part of the Fairfield County Micro-Investors Council. The relevance of this excellent talk was remarkable, coming only a couple of weeks after Muhammad Uris of Bangladesh won the Nobel Prize for micro-credit in his country. The concept is simple, loans are made by organizations like World Vision to individuals or small groups who cannot get support from banks but have marketable products, crafts, skills. This small loans, $200 each in the examples Doug gave, supports one job and 5 people. The profound poverty in the 3^rd World, in this case Ecuador, may seem intractable but micro loans can have a large benefit, to encourage business practices where nothing existed and to contribute hope where little exists. Doug has helped move his organization from $150K in loans to $4 million in 6 years.

Respectfully submitted,

Daisuke Matsuzaka

Maybe its the crisp autumn air... 11/2/06

ROTARY CLUB OF NEW CANAAN

BULLETIN FOR NOVEMBER 2, 2006

Maybe it’s the crisp autumn air, the color in the leaves, the scent of the political season, but Rotary feels awful good these days. But as usual, Nancy halted, had multiple time checks and eventually rang the bell at 12:15 and 22 seconds After our Pledge of Allegiance, Dave Bryant attempted a prayer but just like the French senator from Massachusetts, Jean Kerri, he botched it.

Guests:

Bob Dewey, guest of John Engel

Paul Giusti, New Canaan Selectman

Club Announcements:

Nancy announced that:

• Margo Sisson, Andy Kerchoff, Frank McBrearity, and Ed Nordgaard did good work by volunteering at the flu shot clinic.
• The District Foundation dinner will be held Friday evening, 11/10 and if you call her or call Ben, you can get a ride and join the fun
• There was support for changing our luncheon activities from lunch then speaker to speaker then lunch. (One unruly member then shouted some comments about “women in charge can mess up anything.” ) If you like the idea, you can secretly contact Nancy with your thoughts
• Kudos to Scott Hobbs for earning Imus’ praise on the broadcast of 11/1 and for delivering a joke that may have gotten more yuks than his classic boogety joke

Program:

Ken introduced Peter Christ, treasurer of Law Enforcement Against Prohibition (LEAP) from Syracuse, NY. Peter was a very talented speaker, giving sound reasoning for substituting a system of regulation and control of drugs, as far more ethical and effective than the present one of prohibition. LEAP seems to have its mission aligned perfectly with its rhetoric and a very able spokesman in Peter Christ. The War on Drugs doesn’t work now, never did and never will. There were too few questions, really little breathing room for questions, the only shortcoming today but Peter’s talk and reasoning was, at least for this tired old editor, compelling.

Respectfully submitted,

Stan Musial

Sporting News Major League Player of the Year, 1946

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Filling the room with her larger than life personality... 10/26/06

New Canaan Rotary Club Bulletin October 26, 2006

Filling the room with her larger than life personality, President Nancy rang the bell at the appointed hour which, by prior arrangement, was 15 minutes earlier than usual. She then personally took on the chaplain duties and offered a whiny blessing which, in the end, was all about her. Then, again by prior arrangement, she instructed everyone to sit immediately and quietly and await the arrival of our speaker, U.S. Senatorial candidate on the Sovich ticket, Greenwich resident and Frank McBrearity tenant, Ned Lamont. As is the politician’s wont in campaign mode, Ned was late, so Frank introduced him in absentia. In the end, Frank’s remarks were all about him. Since Ned had still not arrived, Nancy, with her customary assertiveness, moved on with normal business.

Guests and visiting Rotarians included Janice Kunst with Big Steve, Terry Scarborough with Peter Deane, Laura Rubinfeld with Art Duell [who failed to introduce her],the fair Paul Burnham, the equally lovely Jim Rini, foxy Ron Malloy, and our lovely Central American doctor Claudia. Quite a distinguished crowd for a humble country club like ours!

Nancy, now clearly hypoglycemic and visibly annoyed, demanded that every single member of the Club immediately forward his/her personal information to internet impresario John Engel for inclusion in the brand new New Canaan Rotary Club Directory. She was clear that any time today would be soon enough. Don’t force her to get ugly!

At about this time Ned Lamont strode into the room while Steve Sovich recorded the event for posterity with his trusty Brownie, thereby enabling his own self to conclusively prove that a Democratic candidate had actually ventured into this suburban Republican enclave. Ned gave us a brief history of his candidacy, his background and the issues which compelled him to run. They included the Terry Schiavo case, the Patriot Act, the “bridge to nowhere,” opposition to stem cell research, and the war in Iraq. He went on to discuss how Connecticut is 49^th out of 50 states in the amount of money we get back from Washington compared to what we send there, how the state has lost half of its defense related jobs and 40% of its manufacturing jobs in the last few years. He then answered questions concerning pork, Iran, Iraq, Syria, illegal aliens and universal healthcare. All in all a content packed 30 minutes during which he sounded thoughtful and reasonable. He seemed particularly pleased when Nancy presented him with a Toblerone bar. And then he was gone.

Big Steve then collected a surprisingly large haul by not telling any jokes or stories. Draw your own conclusions. Just as the audience was breathing easy because our distinguished visitors had not been offended, in an inexplicable act, President Nancy called on Scott Hobbs for a reprise of the dreaded Boogety Boogety. What was she thinking?!

We finally ate and left.

Lyndon Baines Johnson

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