Is it a Kiwanis Invasion? 12/14/06

ROTARY CLUB OF NEW CANAAN

DECEMBER 14, 2006

Our experimental president (EP), in a raw and outrageous attempt to generate cash flow to augment the club’s revenue from late‑fines, rang the bell early, yes, early, to cause half of those members who arrived before 12:15 to miss the pledge and prayer. And get hit up for late‑fines. This amanuensis has no idea who led the pledge (probably EP) or who uttered the prayer. Did the prayer mention lawyers ... plumbers ... NASCAR drivers? I don’t know.

Buffet lunch was there. No questions about the lettuce. No reps from Taco Bell.

Throughout the luncheon, and the meeting, there was a lot of traffic through our room. In and out. Anybody know who those people were? Is it a Kiwanis invasion?

GUESTS:

Last week, we had a ton of guests. They learned their lesson and did not return this week. Dr. Claudia did not appear. It is rumored she is dining in Italy for a few weeks.

SGT. @ ARMS:

Steve collected a lot of bucks. Much of it from the faux late fines. Scott Hobbs celebrated recently selling and buying a house. He didn’t tell us if it was the same house. This may be a new episode on cable’s “Flip this House.” George Megrue tossed in big‑time on account of his having spent nearly six months traveling “everywhere.” We think he was goofing‑off. Good job, George.

PROGRAM:

Concerned about a potentially‑failed administration, in utter emotional distress, and in need of substantial spiritual support, EP was accompanied by her spiritual advisor, The Rev. Al Sharpton. No, idiot amanuensis (look it up), it was Rev. Ron Evans of the Congregational Church in Darien.

Most of us were somewhat prepared for hell, fire and brimstone. Instead, Rev. Evans (he doesn’t believe he needs a capital “T” in “The”) thoroughly entertained us with a dramatic reading of a piece by Bob Dylan Thomas, “A Child’s Christmas in Wales.” It was pointed out by Rev. Evans that Mr. Thomas died immediately after appearing in New Canaan.

It snows a lot in Wales at Christmastime and Welsh children entertained themselves by mocking firemen, throwing snowballs at cats and eating cigarettes. And we still don’t know if, on that particular Christmas, it snowed 12 inches each day and night for six days or six inches each day and night for twelve days. Can anyone help?

Rev. Evans was a hoot. We hope he visits us again.

UPCOMING EVENTS:

Help is still needed for what the “2006‑2007 Rotary Board Schedule” calls the December 25th “Holiday Fund Raiser at Roger Sherman Inn.” The sign‑up sheet was found, after a major search effort, and passed around the room. We need help in all areas from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM. If you can only make it for part of that time, that’s OK. Just show up, bring a spouse or significant‑other and teenage kids. Teenagers are one of the world’s best sources of physically‑sturdy, free labor. Free is good!

Der Fuhrer still thinks this is a Christmas fundraiser. Part of the reason is the calendar date and also something that happened a couple of millennia ago, and part is because he is advertising “Christmas Dinner” in the newspapers. Don't tell Tom, but the smart P‑C money is still dealing with Humphrey Bogart's birthday in 1899. Friends called him "Hump."

Next week, on Dec. 21st, is the Christmas grab bag. In the words of EP, wrapped gifts should be “rude and insulting.” ‘Nuff said. No last‑minute wine or booze fill‑ins (unless it’s a case of Chateau Lafitte Rothschild). Extra Christmas presents will be raffled off. For cash. Bring a big wallet. And be prepared to leave with it somewhat‑empty. There may be some good stuff.

NEW STUFF:

Art Duel has proposed Laura Rubinfeld for membership. Laura is the executive director of the New Canaan Board of Realtors. (Note to members: According to past‑president Dave Bryant, the designated amanuensis [read: “victim”] must include this in the bulletin for four weeks. Questions? Ask Dave.) Have we seen Laura lately? I don’t know. I don’t pay attention. I just write. Sometimes.

LAWYER JOKES:

The Gridiron has recognized that we don’t have enough lawyer jokes. Accordingly, their next victim will be Joe Rucci. You just can’t miss this. Nobody can. Walbert knows where and when and how much. And, for those too busy (or too cheap to pay the ducat price), it is usually aired on one of the public service channels on Cablevision. Channel 79?

Respectfully submitted,

Laura Ingraham