New Canaan Rotary Club Bulletin January 10

 New Canaan Rotary Club Bulletin                                       January 10, 2008

 

Your bulletin editors slave week in and week out to provide insightful, incisive and comprehensive coverage of  every aspect of the weekly Rotary experience.  Apparently our efforts are not appreciated.  The only time anyone comments on one of our bulletins is when some obviously guilty party is insulted or offended.  Then the sniveling is loud and cacaphanous.  What an ungrateful bunch of illiterate whiners.  In the spirit of reinforcement theory, that which is rewarded is replicated, it is our intention henceforth to insult and offend as many of you as possible.  Any complaints or libel actions may be directed to Editor-in-Chief David Bryant. 

 

Either President Amy or Tom Wolfe, it was an apparition in a white suit, called the meeting to order, led the Pledge and called on Chaplain Ad to ask the blessing.  Ad got through the boilerplate segment before suffering a senior moment, rebooting, and settling for the basic grace.  Not an auspicious beginning, although the crowd was larger than in recent weeks.  Even Steve Sovich and Sandy Parks were in attendance, scotching the rumor that they had run off together to the land of the great raffle.

 

Guests included John Winterly who is relocating and scoping out possible clubs to join, Patrick Hoey’s friend, Peter Davey, an investment manager from Darien, and Jim Krietler’s guest, Emily Kelting, local landscape designer and former member of the Winter Club womens hockey team, the Motherpuckers.

 

Amy announced that Carolyn Clark has had her foot [2] surgery and is recuping at home.  The Club wishes her well.  She also pointed out that exchange program opportunities for high school age students are available for summer trips to strange and foreign lands to spend time with a family there and then have that family’s child return to spend time with our student’s family here.  Contact Amy for followup.  Amy then called on Innkeeper Tom to give the final tally on the Christmas Dinner event.  Tom thanked each participant by name, complained that only David Bryant had showed up at 10:30 [which may have had something to do with the announced start time being 11:00, or the fact that David had unfettered access to the bar for half an hour and, as he noted, it was 5:00 someplace], noted that some no-shows put undue pressure on those who did work, and with suspicious eye contact and lots of winking with Frank Bernardo, announced the proceeds for the 140 dinners served was $6,350.  Lest you have forgotten, or for the clueless who never knew, this money funds our international philanthropy for the year, leaving the Lobsterfest proceeds to fund our domestic priorities.  Amy then invited Didier to step into the room to accept a gratuity from the Club on the occasion of his return to Switzerland.

 

Sergeant Scott, exhibiting the rust accumulated during the holidays started with a Ronald Reagan quote and followed on with a lame racist joke.  By next week he should return to form.

 

Former President Nancy, recently returned from a political observation trip to New Hampshire with George Baker and David “my vote is cheap” Bryant, rose and introduced Mark Curtis as the day’s program.  There were murmurs that she went too far when she threw herself at his feet, hugged his ankles and blubbered “thank you, thank you, thank you” for employing two of Nancy’s offspring, but we should be slow to criticize what we don’t fully understand.  Mark told his story of leaving a mundane banking job for the glitz and glamour of the car wash world.  It was an interesting story, told with humor and self deprecation.  His Splash car wash empire now owns 17 locations, manages five others, and employs over 100 people.  As he concluded bankers Cocks, Hoey, Sparks and Wilkinson were seen scrambling for applications.

 

Snoop Dog